slowly, slowly.....

i know i sounded really grouchy these past entries. don't blame me. i'm just human (READ: WITH FEELINGS!!!). the rumors are true, i do get hurt from time to time. and i just don't think it's good to bottle up your feelings till you explode. i do know some people who do, and believe me, they don't have the sunniest dispositions in the world. so the lesson here is if you can't take it anymore, go drag somebody to act as your shock absorber as you relate the saddest story the world has ever heard or you can scream at the top of your lungs to your hearts desire in the privacy of your own room provided all four walls are sound proof or you can even cry till there's no more tears left to cry. but out of all of this options, i'd rather blog my sorrows away. if you ask me why... well i guess this is a more peaceful and healthy way of dealing with certain catastrophes that visit my usually peaceful and happy life. though my aunt marie who's now residing in canada doesn't agree with me due to reasons i won't divulge. (secret na namin yun....hahaha!) i know she's just concerned and she does have a point. so i'll try to leave private matters concealed only to those people concerned AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. ok. i'm stressing those words coz i who know i can't speak with finality without thinking of circumstances that may arise which might need super venting out even though i've already extended my patience to its' maximum level. ok. i'm rambling again. can't really help it. though i must say my anger is somehow subsiding. anyway, i really don't get mad for a long time. don't want my anger to devour me. and i just think it's unhealthy to stay mad for quite sometime. life is too beautiful to waste it by wallowing thyself on depressing issues. and i don't think prozac will do me good as most people say. thank God for my support group whose concern is enough to let me know that i'm not alone in my constant struggle for personal freedom. you guys are the best, i can't thank you enough! i'm just so overwhelmed that it's so hard not to smile despite of everything that's been happening to me. there, i've said my piece so i've got to hit the sacks now. that would be it for now. peace out!

p.s.
i would like to greet my grandma a belated happy birthday! she just turned 81 last thursday. too bad there was a super typhoon and the whole area had a major blackout so we weren't really able to go out and celebrate. anyhow, we still made the best out of that day. =) cheers to my lola for long life! love you!!!

still in deep thought

there are times when you just tell yourself that you just can't take it anymore. i definitely felt the need to vent out these past few days just to save my sanity. i was trying so hard not to go berserk. there are episodes in a person's life when you just lose your cool and apparently i lost it this time. i know i don't get mad easily. but hey, just like the zillions of people around the globe, i also lose my temper. it takes a lot to piss me off. but there are people who really can get on my nerves. it's like testing the patience of a saint. yeah, i know i'm no saint but i strongly feel that i'm quite level headed. i can shrug vicious comments about me coming from friends to absolute strangers but if they try to say bad things about the people i love and care about, then that's another story. to treat me harshly is something i can take to some levels but to treat those people i care about is sheer torture that i just can't stand by the sides and do nothing. me and my mom's relationship is like a vicious cycle. when i thought things are going great, some kind of conflict arises. perhaps like a sleeping volcano, sooner or later it will erupt at a given time. probably i just don't understand why she can't restrain herself from being so mean in most occasions. i do get embarassed at her choice of words when she gets mad. i don't know how a person can get irate all the time without getting tired. she even gets so pumped up with the most trivial of things and the worst part is everyone can't act naturally around her, there's like a silent rule that everyone should adjust depending on her mood or you just have to simlpy kiss her ass and don't go into trouble of contradicting her. it'll be pointless for she won't accept defeat. now i wonder, is it because of missing hormones brought about by the famous menopausal stage? or maybe not. anyhow, i still i don't get it! i know it'll take sometime before i completely forget things like these. the truth is, matters like these are hard to shake off. nonetheless, i'm praying for some divine intervention to give me peace of mind. i know i'm rambling again. please do bear with me, i'm trying my best to regain myself. ok. that's it for now....peace out!

HOW TO DEAL???!

i know my last entry was very intense. i have written very strong words which i guess came out coz i've reached my boiling point. i'm still pissed with nora, no doubt. she literally makes my life a living hell. i don't know why she doesn't get tired of this crap. it just ruins my day. i'm seriously thinking of quitting nursing school and taking off to a far off place, even leaving for another country. the truth is i'm quite confused. when all the while i thought i'm finally trudging the right track, problems like this occur. my mom is really close-minded. it's so hard to deal with people like her. they always think that the conventional way is always right. she's always right. she doesn't accept defeat. she is purrrfect. but the thing is i'm a free spirit and if she thinks i'd always follow what society dictates and what she thinks is right then it just means i'm imprisoned in my own shell. why the hell was i given a brain if i can't use it?! i don't want to be cooped up in a shell my whole life. yeah, she is my mother but she doesn't own me. i admit, i've had several mistakes in the past yet i manage to be the person i am now. i never regretted any of it coz i became stronger and failure just made me realize things just don't end there. yeah, it's not the end of the world. i can move on. i can still fix my life. oh boy, i'm twenty-five so just imagine how much time i have. i know she has good intentions but please give me the benefit of choosing the kind of life i want to lead. it might not be perfect as she wants it to be but at least i'm happy. another thing, it's so annoying that my smart ass/kiss ass brother keeps on intruding with my life. hey get a hint, stay out of this. you're not part of this so mind your own business. i don't know what's with him but he keeps on meddling. perhaps, he just wants to kiss my mom's ass for more moolah. yeah, like he always does. and to tell me that you're making up a gazillion stories about me won't pull me down. you can come up with bad theories about me, but you'll always be one of those fake, selfish, snotty, arrogant, stubborn, lonely fool who'll never know the real me coz you're stuck with such theories. remember, a little knowlege is a dangerous thing. just because you're about to graduate doesn't mean you already own the world. it doesn't work that way. and one more thing. stop judging me like you're so perfect coz you ain't one...not even close.

"The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage."

P.S.

i'm still in a bad mood. i skipped class coz i can't go to school like this. i know this drama is getting a little dragging. i will try to stop whining. could you do me a favor? if you have precious time on your hands, please do pray for me. that's it for now. peace out!

DISTURBING BEHAVIOR

i haven't posted for quite sometime. i hate to say it, but i'm in deep shit. as i've posted in one of my previous entry, my mom and i have issues. now this one is big. i fucking hate her! no, that's an understatement, "I FUCKING LOATHE HER!!!" there, whew, i've said it. don't care if the whole world would hate me. i don't fucking CARE! damn it, i have my own life to live. she doesn't have the right to meddle with my decisions. for heaven's sake, i'm fucking twenty-five. yeah, old enough to get hitched, get laid and sooner or later knocked up for all i care. i'm so fucking pissed with nora, yeah that's how we (aimee and i) call her. im fucking fed up with her complaining about me and my decisions in life. yeah she's still my mother but i guess i still have to get hold of my own life. i hate it when she tries so hard to play God. gawd, she ain't one. heaven forbid me, but i fucking hate her. she fucking confiscated my laptop when i need it the most. geesh i need to finish 35 more drawings for my microbio class but since we are not in good terms at the moment she's trying to use that to get on my nerves which is fucking crap!!! i don't know what the hell is wrong with her but she keeps on interrupting my very happy and peaceful life. yeah, i've been thru lotsa nasty stuff yet i'm still here trying to fix things but she just won't quit bringing me down. seems like seeing me suffering makes her happy and satisfied. i fucking hate her. i can go on and on. the point is of all people "WHY ME???!!!" if only i can choose my own family, i'd choose someone who'll accept me as me. this is how i am. take it or leave it. i'm trying to live quietly as i can but she keeps bringing in chaos into my life. the thing that hurts me the most is, the person that should be there for me is the one trying to be the enemy. i'm in a computer shop right now typing while crying. i know it's fucking lame but this is driving me nuts. the agony, the emotional torture, the physical pain is one rollercoaster ride which i fucking want to end. i know this is a hopeless case and there's no point of writing events like this over and over but the hell i care. i don't want to bother honhon, aimee and my friends. it's like a cliche. people get tired of the same old story. but the thing is the issue still lies there. i don't know how, when, where i will get answers. my point is "I'M FUCKING TIRED!!!!" could you please get off my nerves?!!! cut me some fucking slack! i'm human thus i get hurt thus i get tired! arrrrggghhhhhh.......

P.S.

i have tons of stuff and new pictures but i'm not in the mood. so i'll fucking go now. peace out!

THE ALL-NEW IPOD.....APPLE HAS DONE IT AGAIN!

it's been one helluva week. got tons of requirements to pass and lotsa drawings (for my microbio lab) to finish. i know it sucks! however, the good news is finals are finally here. yey! a few more weeks left and i'm off to enjoy the sembreak. ha! i'm so looking forward to it. so i can meet my college friends without the guilt of leaving my schoolwork at the bottom of my to-do list. and i'm glad things are somehow working out as it should be despite of a few glitches. whew, thank God! just hope my luck extends to the finals. i know i might sound quite boring coz i keep on talking about school and my routine in most of my entries. but, hey i can't help it. you, my dear blog is the only one who can stand and even tolerate my rants and raves. honhon even gets annoyed when i complain too much about school work. that's why i so love ya. ok. i'm beginning to sound so emo. so i'm gonna stop talking about school stuff. now, let's move on to the good stuff. i recently found out that apple has finally unveiled their latest ipod models, after so many months of speculations and so much talk about it. a new and improved nano (which i honestly think looks like a hybrid of the ipod mini and the previous nano model), a gorgeous 80gb ipod video, as well as a clip on shuffle are expected to top this years christmas wishlist all over the globe. by the way the new nano comes in uber cute colors while the new ipod video can now play more games like bejeweled. ha! it keep getting better and better. i wonder what'll they think of next. clap! clap! clap! for apple for making ipod so loveable! awww, i'm so ogling over the new ipod video. gotta snag one. if only i can swap my 5th gen pod vid. alrighty, that's it for now. will leave you with hot new pics of the latest ipod collection. enjoy! ciao!

*pls. click on the image to see the actual size of the picture*

uber cute ipod nano's: in slimmer and vibrant colors

ipod nano remastered

super compact ipod shuffle
do i need to say more?!

ipod shuffle front

ipod shuffle back

at the top of my wishlist:
the new gorgeous ipod vid!!!

P.S.
more great news: ipod now sells ipod ready dvd movies. CLICK HERE, for more details or just visit www.apple.com.

DUSTY BEATS THE HEAT

the temperature continues to climb to my annoyance. so what's the best way to beat the heat---ICE CREAM!!! and my buddy dusty sure digs it. here are some snaps of my mom and dad spoiling the dog on two separate occasions:

hmmm....quezo real (read: cheese flavor)
yum! yum!

dusty loves cheese...
it's no surprise this is his favorite flavor =)

my mom spoils our dog too much!
(sometimes to a fault**)

but we don't mind....
my buddy dusty is such a sweetie!

here's my dad trying to feed dusty
on a lazy sunday afternoon

yummy pistachio ice cream!

...look how he goes at it

ice cream bliss....

...almost done

dusty is one happy camper and so is my dad
both look happy... don't cha think so? =)

P.S.

the weather is still bad. it shifts from time to time. now, it's so damn hot the next minute it's raining like crazy. it's friggin' whacked up. will post a decent entry soon. this should do it for the meantime. that's it for now...peace out!

can you feel the heat??!

summer has left us months ago yet i don't know why it still feels like it these past few days (READ: terrible scorching heat!!!). i love sunny days, no doubt! with the exception of the burning heat. i really can't stand it! it makes me feel so sluggish. the change of weather can be so stressful. could it be a sign of global warming? i hope not! but i guess it's not far from reality. it really is happening. it rained so hard last night that i got stranded in school. the metro was flooded in most areas. unfortunately, the streets surrounding my school was already submerged in deep, dirty and stinky water by the time my classes ended. i had to ride a trike twice just to get home. arrgghhh! i got so exhausted that i set off to lalaland pretty quickly. i'm getting a bit lazy to type now so i'll just post snapshots of gorgeous orange skies i've taken using my ixus 60 cam last week. like i say time and again, click on the pictures to see the actual size. that's it for now! ciao!

it's so rare that we see orange skies
so i can't help but take some snaps....
ain't it gorgeous?!

golden to orange skies....love it! love it!

i absolutely love orange skies!!!

all photos are taken while inside the car
some sorta roadtest of my cam...

final verdict: canon ixus 60 is a real beauty!
love it to pieces!!!

P.S.
this are actual pics taken on my cam. no edits whatsoever. =)

start of the "ber" months...where is santa?

september is here again, the start of the so-called "-ber" months which indicates the beginning of the Christmas season. i know it's a bit early for most people in other parts of the globe but majority of us filipinos, (i for one! haha...) see the arrival of september as a sign of the start of the holiday season. yey! i oh-so-LOVE Christmas!!! it's my all-time favorite season. they say it's just for kids. yeah, i'm no longer a kid but i'll always be a kid at heart. i can still remember the many Christmases i've spent believing in Santa Claus. my mom and dad would tuck me in bed while i try to take a peak. when they see i was already fast asleep they'd sneak in the gifts under the christmas tree and a few times on the stockings that were hung near the tree. then, they'd wake me up at midnight to open the gifts that Santa left ( i always got what i wanted--Santa knew me very well. haha!) and we'd eat a table-full of food. it was one of my most memorable experience as a little girl. i later learned that the real Santa had short hair with a distinguished mole on her cheek, and has a very big resemblance to nora aunor, the superstar. (yeah...it was my mom!) later on, santa's gifts were a no-show. if only, i can take it back so my mom can still get me what i want this christmas. hahaha! on the other hand, it's just sad that our poor economy through the years has apparently dampened the christmas spirit. the purchasing power of the peso has declined which means people can buy little out of their money. my heart goes out to those people who don't have much in life. the season can be all too sad. but then again christmas is a time of sharing. so i guess there is still a spark of hope that things will work out.

P.S.
i wonder what will honhon get me this christmas??....ahem.....ahem....hahaha!!!=)

IT STARTED WITH A KISS OST SAMPLER

as promised, here are some of my picks from ISWAK's soundtrack. just press play coz i didn't set it on autostart since i have my own default player at the bottom of the page. so don't forget to stop it before listening to iswak's ost. by the way, whenever you click play, it doesn't start right away. so please be patient. alrighty?! you're all set. enjoy!

"IT STARTED WITH A KISS" TRACK LIST

02. Say U Love Me (湘琴求愛之片頭主題曲) (鐵竹堂Jason+南拳媽媽Lara主唱)
12. 惡作劇 (浪漫片尾曲/新人王藍茵主唱)
05. 聽見 (湘琴之暗戀心情主題)
07. 靠近一點點 (湘琴之越挫越勇主題/南拳媽媽Lara主唱)
03. 遇到 (湘琴與直樹之邂逅主題)
06. Say U Love Me (guitar version)
01. Dream Waltz 故事從一封情書開始，看似夢幻華爾滋的浪漫開場... 竟被當場拒絕!
04. 愛情海 (直樹之溫柔主題)
08. 能不能 (直樹與湘琴之雨中接吻主題)
09. 全世界的人都知道 (湘琴之單戀主題)
Soapdish - 11 - Pwede Ba

P.S.

the last track is really not included in the ost however it's always played in ISWAK's local (philippine) version. and besides, it's my honhon's favorite. so there enjoy and take your pick. that's it for now....ciao! will update as soon as i finish watching the whole series. =)

IT STARTED WITH A KISS, midterms, splitting headaches and raccoon eyes....

it started with a kiss' ariel lin and joe cheng!
awwwwww!!!

it's been more than a week since i last made an entry. i miss bloggin'! weehee! i decided to go on blog leave due to my midterm exams which by the way is officially over! yey, thank God! but the truth is my mind wandered elsewhere. WHERE? the tv!!! (and my laptop...hahaha) i got so hooked on watching "it started with a kiss." gawd, it's so addicting. at first, i was kinda hesitant to see the series coz i was under the impression that it has the same story as "devil beside you" (another taiwanese drama that i super love...haha) and the girl (ariel lin) has a striking resemblance with local star, jolina magdangal, which is kinda annoying but when i had a chance to watch the series on local tv last saturday, i was taken by surprise. it kept me on my seat the whole time to the point of craving for more. so i ended up watching episode per episode on youtube, which fyi has a not so clear copy however the subs are great! the subbers did a good job as compared to the dvd boxset’s subtitles which in my opinion totally sucked though i'd still hit it coz the story is great. haha. so bottomline is i got so pumped up watching ISWAK when i should've been studying. so i wind up having: 1)so little sleep after cramming very late at night 2) a hard time waking up in the morning due to a splitting headache 3) nasty eye bags and raccoon eyes 4) probably not so good marks in the exams which i hope not! and i only have myself to blame. huhuhu! arggh?! but it's just so hard to focus when the story is so good and the soundtrack is superb! i'm still half-way from finishing the series and i can't wait to see the last episode. but i’m so beat tired at the moment, so i guess i have to get some shut eye first. so i’ll leave you with lotsa pics from “iswak.” click on the image to view the actual size. and that’s it for now…peace out!

ISWAK fanart

the chemistry rocks!!!
don't cha think so?!

ariel lin with a bigger version of my buddy dusty
HAO KE AI!

cuteness!

can't help but re-post my iswak wallpaper on my ipod
(see previous entry)
funny and sweet (kilig*)

p.s.

“it started with a kiss” soundtrack is so nice (love it! love it!) that I want to share it with everyone! i’ll try to post a sample of my favorite picks from the soundtrack on my next entry. if you want a copy of the entire soundtrack, click HERE! hope you enjoy it as much as i do! ciao!