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Monday, September 25, 2006

HOW TO DEAL???!

i know my last entry was very intense. i have written very strong words which i guess came out coz i've reached my boiling point. i'm still pissed with nora, no doubt. she literally makes my life a living hell. i don't know why she doesn't get tired of this crap. it just ruins my day. i'm seriously thinking of quitting nursing school and taking off to a far off place, even leaving for another country. the truth is i'm quite confused. when all the while i thought i'm finally trudging the right track, problems like this occur. my mom is really close-minded. it's so hard to deal with people like her. they always think that the conventional way is always right. she's always right. she doesn't accept defeat. she is purrrfect. but the thing is i'm a free spirit and if she thinks i'd always follow what society dictates and what she thinks is right then it just means i'm imprisoned in my own shell. why the hell was i given a brain if i can't use it?! i don't want to be cooped up in a shell my whole life. yeah, she is my mother but she doesn't own me. i admit, i've had several mistakes in the past yet i manage to be the person i am now. i never regretted any of it coz i became stronger and failure just made me realize things just don't end there. yeah, it's not the end of the world. i can move on. i can still fix my life. oh boy, i'm twenty-five so just imagine how much time i have. i know she has good intentions but please give me the benefit of choosing the kind of life i want to lead. it might not be perfect as she wants it to be but at least i'm happy. another thing, it's so annoying that my smart ass/kiss ass brother keeps on intruding with my life. hey get a hint, stay out of this. you're not part of this so mind your own business. i don't know what's with him but he keeps on meddling. perhaps, he just wants to kiss my mom's ass for more moolah. yeah, like he always does. and to tell me that you're making up a gazillion stories about me won't pull me down. you can come up with bad theories about me, but you'll always be one of those fake, selfish, snotty, arrogant, stubborn, lonely fool who'll never know the real me coz you're stuck with such theories. remember, a little knowlege is a dangerous thing. just because you're about to graduate doesn't mean you already own the world. it doesn't work that way. and one more thing. stop judging me like you're so perfect coz you ain't one...not even close.
"The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage."
P.S.
i'm still in a bad mood. i skipped class coz i can't go to school like this. i know this drama is getting a little dragging. i will try to stop whining. could you do me a favor? if you have precious time on your hands, please do pray for me. that's it for now. peace out!

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