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Monday, August 21, 2006


i got into an argument with my mom last night. it's extremely frustrating when i try to tell her something very important concerning one of my siblings then *bam* she'd tell me right off, i'm so fucking envious that i make up stories to malign my sibling for me to come out good. like what's in it for me? is telling the truth that bad? i don't malign other people just to get a good impression nor i want to come out clean. didn't it cross her mind that i'm just plain fucking concerned?! sometimes it's just so hard to make a good conversation with my mom. no, make it most of the time. you don't know what's going on her mind. we often argue because she doesn't want to hear me out. she's just listens to herself. she does this to everyone of us. it's no surprise why my dad chose not to stay with us. i hate it when she would cover up for things that should be dealt with. and it is a no-no to speak your mind in front of her. she would see it as rudeness. that's why we often clash. whenever her opinion collides with my own personal opionion, she'd right away tell me i'm wrong and would even go as far as telling me i'm fucking stubborn. why, am i not entitled to my own opinion? i'm sick and tired of getting her approval. and she keeps on controlling everyone which is driving me crazy. i try to be as calm as possible but my mom knows exactly how to get on someone's nerves. don't get me wrong, i love my mom, it's just that i think her temper is driving away people that matter. as much as i hate to admit it but yeah our family lacks intimacy. however, i guess i'm still hoping for some sort of miracle to happen. i would love to see the day when we don't just merely get along but we can sit back and have that mutual closeness that i fervently longed for. then again, it takes two to tango so i can only hope for the best.

i'm sorry if i kept on cussing...i just had to let it out.


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