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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

my mind goes.....

it's exam week again. one of those dreadful days were my mind goes boink, caput, or just wander to some far off place. hmmm, i realized that i have a weird habit of slacking off during exams. i get so sluggish and sleepy. yet, when exams are over i get so animated and energetic to the extent of staying up all night. the truth is i'm lazy as a log. i can even play couch potato all day. is it with the weather these days? maybe. maybe not. i've been trying to steer clear from the computer but it seems like my hands have a mind of it's own. here i go again, putting a new blog that i know i may not maintain. but i don't care. i miss bloggin'. it's just so therapheutical. a good way of talking to yourself when nobody else is around to listen without looking like a friggin' dork. been up so early in the morning to study. i've been memorizing the same 2 pages the whole day but to no avail. i hate memorization. i suck at it! i was never a bookish person. but sad to say most of my subjects right now need lots of memory work. darn it, i'm screwed?!! i guess my heart is not into it. been fighting the urge to go online. i've turned on the desktop thrice and my laptop twice. swearing of just trying to take a peak really didn't help. hahaha. who am i fooling? ding?! honestly, i sometimes ask myself if i chose the right path. is this road really destined for me? i never imagined i would be back in school at my age. but things happen for a reason. so might as well accept it and just make the best of it. i used to be so stubborn and too carefree. i was too wrapped up with myself, mindless of the future. spent lots of money on clothes, gadgets and what have you. then again, i still wasn't satisfied. i felt like something was terribly missing. like happiness was so temporary. more like a fleeting moment. i was just working for myself. however, maybe with age, people's mindset changes. i feel like i want something big not just for me but my immediate family, and of course my future family. i want something that spells long-term. i hope i make it with all the distractions around me. there i said my piece so i'll go back to where i left off hoping that i can accomplish something so i can hit the sack early.


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